What Do You Do if you Have Two Cows at Lake Chapala ?

February 3, 2010

At the risk of offending almost everyone, amusing some and hopefully enlightening others I’ve added my own twist to an internet joke I recently received.

What do you do with two cows?

cows 2


You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.


You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


You have two cows.

Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.


You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.


You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch and drink wine.

Life is good.


You have two cows.

You modify them genetically so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and  produce twenty times the milk.

They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

Mexican Living at Lake Chapala

A  Mexican has two cows.

He stakes them both out on Federal Land by the Lake or on Highway right of ways and they eat their fill of grass and save the government the cost of mowing.

He trades the milk of one for the labor to milk them both.

Then, he trades his milk to the cheese maker who gives him half the cheese.

His wife then makes scrumptious casadillas for comeda while he takes an afternoon siesta.

Life is Good !

Gringo Retiree Living at Lake Chapala

Two Mexican cows have broken their ropes where they were tethered and wandered onto your property  and are eating your garden plants.

Your gardener Juan corals them both and takes them to the local carneceria (butcher shop) which butchers both, keeps one and returns one to you.

You throw a neighborhood fiesta and Juan’s brother in law Bar B Q’s some of the meat, makes sausage from some of it, and fajitas out of the rest.

Juan invites his other brother in law, a Mariachi band leader to bring the band along.

The other guests bring cerveza, tortillas, and salsa picante.

Everyone pigs out on all the home cooked wonderful Mexican food and drink at the fiesta.

Life is very good for you, your gardener and his brother in law at Lake Chapala !

So, if you want to join us here living the good life too:  I can help.

My name is Sid Grosvenor and I’m an Exclusive Buyer’s Only Realtor who can help you in all sorts of ways to understand the lay of the land here including, but not limited to…

. The Real Estate Market

. Understanding Mexican culture

, Living life  here as a Contented Gringo

at beautiful and affordable Lake Chapala Ajijic Mexico.

E mail me today to learn more: Sid@ChapalaClub.com

  • Joan Wright (in Canada)

    We all need some humour in our lives. Thanks for brightening up my day Sid. Take care
    Joan Wright in Canada

  • http://www.dundeemanor.com Brad Cunningham

    Sid –Ref Two Cow’s—You for got to do the profile on Canadian Cows??? or is that French—?

  • Betty

    Hi Sid!
    That was great. I really loved this. It is so true on top of being funny. By the way my husband has been asking me questions about things down there. Its a good start.

  • Richard Sanchez

    Sid you are a good realtor.

  • http://www.chapalaclub.com Sid Grosvenor

    Hi richard. Thanks very much for the kind word. I appreciate it. Siempre tu amigo, Sid

  • http://www.chapalaclub.com Sid Grosvenor

    Hi Betty, Great comment. Be patient with him. We like to think we’re in control. Let is be his idea if possible. Sid

  • http://www.chapalaclub.com Sid Grosvenor

    Hi Brad, Yes, I just don’t know how the Canadian would deal with having 2 cows. Share with us you idea of just what a Canadian would do with their two cows. Sid

  • http://www.chapalaclub.com Sid Grosvenor

    Hi Joan, Always glad to help brighten someone’s day. I’ll do my best to do that on a regular basis.
    Siemore tu amigo, Sid

    P.S> I’m working on a surprise feature for the ChapalaClub I hope everyone will like so check back regularly.

  • Sunny

    Hi Sid,

    The cow story is great. Do you think I can bring two cows in tow through Mexican customs?


  • http://www.chapalaclub.com Sid Grosvenor

    Hi Sunny, You could… but the paper work would be horrible. Better to wait for a couple to wander up and begin to eat your plants and have your gardener capture them for you and follow the lead of the gringo in the story. Siempre tu amigo, Sid

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